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Motoring Humour:Too Drunk to Drive?

[dropcap]S[/dropcap]omewhere in Harlow, Essex, United Kingdom, a police patrol car was parked not far from a pub. Shortly before the pub closed, the police saw a man leaving, apparently too drunk to walk straight. The man roamed around the area, staggering and seemed to have forgotten where his car was parked. After trying his key on more than six vehicles, he eventually located his car.

He dropped on the driver’s seat and remained motionless for more than five minutes, while some other joint customers started their cars and drove off. At last, he switched on his car ignition, switched the wipers on and off, albeit it was a fine dry night, He flicked the blinkers on, then off, honked the horn and then switched on the headlamps. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

dog drivingSlowly he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly. The police patrol car, as expected, followed the drunk driver, flashing lights on, and was quickly pulled over.

“Can you step out of the car?” yelled the police officer

The driver obeyed, but could not stand on his feet, having to rest his back on the rear passenger door, as the police officer took out a breathalyser and tested the drunk driver. To the officer’s amazement, the breathalyser indicated that the driver had no drop of alcohol in his system.

Stunned, the officer showed his colleague, who replied: “The equipment must have developed fault.”

The Officer then turned to the drunk driver and said, “You are not so lucky. Our equipment is faulty, but you’ll follow us to the station.”

By that time, two other cars had pulled behind the driver’s car out of which two girls and a bloke walked towards the scene, laughing.

“Trust me,” replied the driver, who now stood upright, hands in his pocket, voice sharp and steady,” there is nothing wrong with your equipment. Because you saw me staggering, you forgot to realise that you have a more effective equipment to immediately confirm if I have consumed any alcohol at all. Your Nose. Well, well, it worked. It’s still 11.15pm of April 1st. I’m the designated decoy to play the last April fool of the year.”

The police caught the joke and let him off.

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