A psychiatrist wanted to know how many of his patients have been cured of madness. So he assembled them in a big classroom and drew a big car on the board. He then told the class anyone, who succeeded in pushing the car on the board, would receive a gift of 20,000 Naira and be free to go home. On ...

A Macedonian drove six hours across Italy and into Germany before noticing he had left his wife at a petrol station. Ljubomir Ivanov , 35, only realised he had forgotten wife Iskra, 37, when he got a call on his mobile from police to say she was still waiting for him at the petrol station near Pesaro, in central Italy. ...

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no – he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party the police pull him over for weaving all over the road, ask him to get out of the car and take ...

The local council could not afford a speed camera, so they put up a sign saying: “Slow down Old People’s Home.”  It had no effect. At the next meeting they decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a different sign: “Danger – Children at Play.” The result was no discernible reduction in traffic speed. Then the chairman ...

Last week, it was reported worldwide that BMW’s CEO collapsed and fainted on stage at Frankfurt Motor Show. Reason for collapse: He felt dizzy. An elderly English woman reading the news report reacted thus: “Oh Well, I have similar feeling, whenever I enter a BMW showroom and sight prices on their vehicles…” Wicked!

I was just arrested for drink driving. Apparently telling the cop you had to drive, because you were in no shape to walk is not a good excuse. Courtesy of Sickipedia

  Before Nick Clegg’s birthday, his wife had promised him a Ferrari and an island in the Caribbean for it. She knew he was in no position to lecture people on not keeping their promises. Uuuuuuuh!

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school.. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: ...

Driving through a lonely road, a motorist had a flat tyre. He pulled up, took out his jack and extra tyre. As soon as he started jacking up the car, he had a gentle laughter behind him. He looked back, but saw no one. Thought he was merely imagining things, he carried on, but had a bit louder laughter. He ...

On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?” asked the police officer. “I’m on my way to a lecture,” answered Daniel. ...